Eyes down, ladies and gentlemen, eyes down. It’s time for Anti-Abortion Bullshit Bingo!

Nadine Dorries has been granted a 90-minute debate in the House of Commons on reducing the abortion time limit, and that means we should be in for some high-quality bullshit.

Print off your card and get ready to cross off each dodgy statement as you hear it. The winner is… who am I kidding – the only person who wins in this game is Nadine Dorries.

A sixteen-square bingo card featuring some of Nadine Dorries' anti-abortion arguments

Why not join in at home? Click for full-size version.