Skyfall: M for Mummy
Comedian Caroline Newte Hardie went to see Skyfall. She didn’t like it very much.
I have decided to mitigate my fury about the retrograde misogyny in Bond by focusing this piece on more general critiques of Skyfall’s plot. This as much for my benefit, dear Reader, as it for yours: doctor’s orders.
Extraordinarily this third film in the Craig Bond Canon (imagine that is his actual name for a minute; Bond – Craig Bond. No real point to this other than I think that Daniel’s face is more of a Craig than a James) has been lauded as a final maturing point, a piqued fermentation of the franchise for the 21st Century: “Craig’s really hit his stride”, “finally Skyfall finds Bond’s voice for a new generation”, “exciting plot”. Exciting plot? My arse.
I’ll summarise: modern world of female M not working out – unsurprisingly she can’t handle the pressure at the top, utilise plot of revenge attacks on female M to get rid of female M and start anew with male M next time around, make use of a little Oedipality (new word; you’re welcome) and some homo-eroticism to up the depth factor of villain – and Bond for that matter, add in a bonk with a brutalised ex sex slave (the use of ‘ex’ in this context is frankly up for debate, but this bonk was clearly Bond’s entitlement and reward for spotting that she was afraid, via the oft-cited cryptic semiology of Tremblius Handus), witness execution of said brutalised-now beaten up ex sex slave as set-up for pivotal gag/product placement, return the only female field agent featured in the film to a more suitable secretarial role and you’re pretty much done.
At the end, Eve Really Rather Suited To Fieldwork Actually If Judged By Opening Sequence Spoiler Alert Moneypenny (full name) takes Bond’s coat and ushers him back to the safety of the panelled wood boys’ club of yesteryears and sets the tone for the future. I don’t think I like the future because my place in society is dead or holding coats. The future will be like a never-ending trip to Chessington World of Adventures when you’re frightened of heights and no one else is.
I am infuriated by the simplicity of the plot. When I have expressed my dislike of the plot to friends, I have been admonished with, ‘but Bond plots are ALWAYS bonkers and go all over the place’. Yes, I know; that’s my point. This plot is pretty bloody linear. The plot is like the theme tune: it has an exciting opener with potential, and you think, ‘Okay, I like this bit, I wonder where they’ll take it?’, and then you realise; ‘Nope, that’s pretty much it actually. Oh.’
This Bond is a reset for and setter upper of the next one, and yet everyone went mad for it. Not even the most die-hard (excuse the franchise pun) Lord of the Rings fan liked The Two Towers much. Was it because of the hype? I think it was. No one wants to be the dick that says they didn’t like it. I for one have used a pseudonym for this article; there’s no such person as Caroline Newte Hardie.
I was wondering if you ever considered changing the page layout of your site?
Its very well written; I love what youve got to say. But maybe you
could a little more in the way of content so people could connect with
it better. Youve got an awful lot of text for only having one or two
pictures. Maybe you could space it out better?
If you are going for finest contents like I do, simply go to see this web page all the time as it gives quality contents, thanks
Thanks for finally talkijg about >Skyfall: M foг Mummy | Bright Green <Loved it!
Very good post. I will be going through a few of these issues
Pretty nice post. I simply stumbled upon your blog and wanted to mention that I have really enjoyed surfing
around your blog posts. After all I will be subscribing in your rss
feed and I hope you write again soon!
Excellent article! We are linking to this particularly great article on our
website. Keep up the great writing.
You can definitely see your skills in the work you write.
The sector hopes for more passionate writers like you who are not afraid to mention how they believe.
Always follow your heart.
Nice comment about Bond, i never see it in that way.
A motivating discussion is worth comment. There’s no
doubt that that you should publish more about this topic,
it might not be a taboo subject but usually folks don’t
speak about such topics. To the next! Kind regards!!
For a dishwasher you have in your home now, be
sure you have sent in the warranty information. Place a thick layer of newspaper or plastic sheeting on the floor under the tree.
Have your eyes peeled all the time with a wireless security camera.
The ocean is also comfortable here so a wetsuit is not necessary.
When bleeding occurs, it is possible they
think that a lot of blood had been lost. So hurry, check out online bookings now, and experience the best vacations
Truly no matter if someone doesn’t know afterward its up to
other people that they will assist, so here it occurs.
What i don’t realize is in fact how you are not actually a
lot more neatly-liked than you might be right now. You’re so intelligent.
You understand therefore significantly on the subject of this subject, made me personally believe
it from numerous numerous angles. Its like men and
women are not involved until it is something to accomplish with
Lady gaga! Your individual stuffs nice. All the time handle it up!
Howdy! Do you use Twitter? I’d like to follow you if that would be ok.
I’m absolutely enjoying your blog and look forward to new updates.
That is a really good tip particularly to those fresh to the blogosphere.
Brief but very precise info… Thank you for sharing this one.
A must read post!
A large amount of functions and features on these steam showers, I love the multimedia opinion as well as the lighting style
Look at my site :: Whirlpool Steam Shower
Thankfulness tto my father who stated to me on the
topic of this website, this webb site is truly awesome.
This piece of writing offers clear idea for the new visitors of blogging, that
genuinely how to do running a blog.
Nice post. I learrn something totally new and challenging on sites I stumbleupon every day.
It will always be exciting to read through cntent from other authors and use something frdom their sites.
my web page … how to get promo code (Boyce)
Useful information. Lucky me I found your website by accident, and I’m stunned why this coincidence did not took place in advance!
I bookmarked it.
For latest information you have to pay a quick visit internet and on world-wide-web I
found this web page as a most excellent web site for hottest updates.
I take pleasure in, lead to I found exactly what I was having a look for.
You have ended my 4 day long hunt! God Bless you man. Have a great day.
Undeniably believe that which you stated. Your favorite reason seemed to be
on the web the simplest thing to be aware of.
I say to you, I definitely get annoyed while people think
about worries that they just don’t know about. You managed to hit the nail upon the
top as well as defined out the whole thing without having side effect ,
people could take a signal. Will likely be back to get more.
It’s going to be end of mine day, but before ending I am reading
this fantastic article to improve my know-how.
Never ever heard of a steam shower enclosure up until I discovered this website, so pleased I did so actually want
one right away and money permitting will be enjoying one soon enough
Feel free to surf to my website: steam shower
cabin – http://aquaplussteamshowercabinenclosur.weebly.com/ –
Why people still use to read news papers when in this technological globe everything
is accessible on web?
To learn more about the NFA BASIC System, you
may visit the following website:. In fact, our best system
that we purchased was just over a hundred dollars and we’ve recovered our money and
then some. ” If you really think you can follow someone else’s system and be successful in your own trading, then you are sadly mistaken.
Excellent site plenty of brilliant steam shower info here
my weblog – corner steam Shower (waskita.Co.id)
I don’t how many gamekeepers you know, but I’ve lived in the Highlands all my life and none of the ones I know are remotely working class. Well, other than, y’know, having a job.
Dear not-Caroline Newte Hardie, let me save you the trouble – it was shallow, trite, excruciatingly camp (and not in any sort of good way) and, yes, mysogynistic in an age when you’d have thought that even Bond would have moved on.
Just as telling was that when they wanted to introduce an element of moral ambivalence it’s over the treatment of the bad guy – a former good guy who was hung out to dry by his bosses and handed over as part of a realpolitik trade with China. The subtext is that ‘bad stuff happens, but if you sign up for this murky world you are fair game’. They wouldn’t dare go down the ‘Bond machine guns unfortunate innocent bystanders who didn’t sign up for an early death’ road.
The lingering question is why so many of us (me included) continue to encourage Bond by paying to see his antics. Why would he change when we loyally fork out seven or eight quid to watch him do the whole sixties aftershave commercial routine? The Brocollis know they’re onto a winner. If there’s a silver lining it’s that those people who pay to see Bond for the fantasy of a world where men are real men and women simper, take their coats and willingly disrobe (disrobing sponsored by Velcro) – it’s because it’s thankfully harder and harder to live out that fantasy in real life.
Also, a small thing. At the end, *spoiler alert* Bond goes back to the ancestral pile in Scotland where the game keeper shows up. Later, said game keeper (read ‘token working class person’) gets M caught by using a torch on the moor. This is ridiculous. The man spends his life sneaking round the moor hunting animals. There’s no way he’d make such a mistake. But you know, easier to have the working class guy cock up.